And congrats to me for getting this email just now:

Enjoy your bigger penis!

posted by Kirk on Friday, Octocber 19, 2007 11:31am

...to this lovely lady.

posted by John A on Thursday, Octocber 18, 2007 8:53am

Because the Sox are kinda cooked.

posted by Kirk on Wednesday, Octocber 17, 2007 -2:40am

It's a Colordao Rocky Mountain High here in Denver, where the Rockies clinched the national league series last night, earning them a place in the world series. Rockies fans flooded the streets downtown after the game, outside Coors stadium. I avoided the crowds and retreated to a hot tub on the roof of the Westin Hotel. The American League series is still up in the air, although Cleveland is looking pretty good. Kirk, do you think there's any hope for the Red Sox?

(this blog brought to you by a guy who knows very little about baseball.)

posted by Rob on Wednesday, Octocber 17, 2007 -3:32am

Open Circle Theater has officially left the building- their old home at 429 Boren avenue North is being torn to make room for... you guessed it, condos. Last night, there was a final farewell to the space. Although I was never in a show at OCT, it's where I first met the folks who are now "Awesome", lo those many years ago in "Road Movie to Berlin", a TMBG tribute. There was plenty of booze at the party last night, and emotions were running high, so we kicked in the door at the top of the stairs and climbed up on to the roof. PD'O won the beer bottle throwing contest, although he couldn't quite hit the Conworks sign. Downstairs, Doc rolled around on a giant metal cart, while Kirk got mad and broke things. At the end of the night, there weren't any drinks left to toast with, so we all went home. In my van.
OCT isn't gone forever... they're performing their signature Lovecraft at the Rendezvous this month.
Lovecraft @ OCT

posted by Rob on Sunday, Octocber 7, 2007 11:37am

posted by Basil on Thursday, Octocber 4, 2007 4:50pm

Our apologies to those of you who heard this today. New tunes have been set in place for future broadcasts and the responsible parties have been sacked.

Thanks to Seattlest for this shout-out and Pete for the heads-up!

Down with suits!

posted by Basil on Thursday, Octocber 4, 2007 -2:00am

posted by Kirk on Wednesday, Octocber 3, 2007 2:18pm

Please accept an apology on behalf of my bandmates for the lameness of this blog recently. Come on you guys, just putting up pictures of random stuff isn't really writing a blog. Now, I know I haven't been posting much recently, but that's because I've been doing research reading other people's blogs trying to figure out how to make ours better. It seems like most of the best blogs are written by girls. And by girls, I mean women. And by blogs I mean novels. Does anyone want to go see the Jane Austen Book Club with me tonight? Oh, wait... tonight is our CD release party. That's right... our BAND will be playing a really cool SHOW at Chop Suey. You should come. Maybe we can go out for drinks afterwards.

posted by Rob on Saturday, September 29, 2007 11:34am

posted by David N on Friday, September 28, 2007 11:44am

posted by John O on Tuesday, September 25, 2007 4:04pm

posted by Kirk on Tuesday, September 25, 2007 1:09pm

posted by Evan on Monday, September 24, 2007 2:04pm

posted by Basil on Monday, September 24, 2007 12:55pm

posted by Kirk on Saturday, September 22, 2007 11:55am

posted by John O on Thursday, September 20, 2007 1:40am

posted by Kirk on Wednesday, September 19, 2007 4:32pm

posted by Evan on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 12:18pm

A Great Alternative to Nightcrawlers

posted by Kirk on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 9:49am

I won't let you die, Britney!

posted by John O on Monday, September 17, 2007 4:44pm

I'm listening to Writer's Block. How apt.

Rob had a really nice party last night.
Some people are good at parties.
I liked Basil's ideas about Kreb's idea.
I think switching the rugs was a good idea.
I am looking forward to Saturday night.
I guess I'm having the after-party after our CD release show.
I better get some salsa.
I think the ideal age for our new show is 4-8.
If you're under 4, wait to see it.
If you're over 8, take drugs to see it.
What's all this about Britney Spears? I thought she was dead.
It's too bad that the Mariners folded so hard.
It's pretty great that the Sonics might stay.
I have decided to retire at the end of the season.
It's time for the Diamond People to start up again.

posted by Kirk on Friday, September 14, 2007 12:06pm

I am here in portland. THE portland. We're at Ted & Jordi's. There are lots of noises going on around me. Just overheard: "Whoooaa! Nudie time!" The director and the photographer are in the kitchen doing shots of tequila and er, other stuff. Maybe everyone is in there. I'm stuck in this comfortable IKEA style chair elevating my right leg on several sleeping bags. I've been icing it. I don't mean putting icing on it. I mean putting ice on it. Someone -- Oh my god I just remembered
now someone is telling me about Rob I mean Rob is telling us about cows with windows on them. For research. Is this real?
Okay what was I talking about? Yeah ice ice was for the heel and ankle. Someone said they measured it and it was like a 15 foot jump. Plus the stage was like 5 feet off the ground. so that's some height. Now Rob is going to blog at the same time as me. I don't knw whose blog is going to getposted first but I want you to konw that I started first. He's totally copying me. Oh. MY. GOD.
Kit Kat! I just ate one. I hope that Ted & Jordi don't mind. They have so much awesome food here. Junk food I mean. and snacks for the DOG YM oH like some shaped like hot bogs. I mean hot dogs. and Jen is asking if Dogs like a Hot Dog shaped food. I mean is a hot dog shaped food a food a dog will like by sight.
Now we're watching old star trek on a giant giant TV. overhead: "It's mostly a result of shiny hair." I think they're talking about Lenord Nemoy. How do you spell Lenord? There's a cube in from the ship, and Kirk is walking down the hall without his shirt on. Rutger Hauer's borther I mean brother is in this episode. "I'd rather shit in my own mouth" I hear someone else say. Sorry. I really heard that. Scotty's report: "It's a solid cube."

My report: Here's What Happened. We drove to Portland. We found the Wonder Ballroom. We teched the show. Bob put up our banner. Rob screwed a bunch of boards to a stool to make an overhead projector stand. We teched the show some more. Lights were aimed and focused. Instruments set up and amps and cords. We had a lot of monitors! The sound was great. We played the sound check song. Then we went and had some food at the Wonder Cafe. I complained about the food because that's what I do. There were hot things in fancy gyro thingy. and I don't like hot things. especially surprising hot things that surprise you when you don't know about them before hands. Listen , this is just dinner. it's not that important to the overall story. is it really almost 4 am? This party is still going on. anyway. (overheard: "That is EXACTLY what my dog does to my cat at least 3 times a week.") Okay, after dinner, we went back and got into costume. My green striped show socks hadn't been washed in, um, ever. My toga was a little wrinkled in the van. and losing green laurel leaves. then we waited for audience to arrive. They did. I heard that 283 people came. It was a good show. Troy was funny. People really liked it. It was all standing room only in the back, shoulder to shoulder. It was a good show. Oh, and then we did some encores. We did Ones and Zeroes, and then Mission To An Alien Planet, and thenAre YOu Aware. And I did the dance thing I do. And at the end I ran and jumped off the stage and now my heels um, hurt. I am limping man. Then we came back here to Ted & Jordi's. And now Star Trek is off and it's Wonder Showzen. Evan wants his laptop back and that's the end of the blog.

posted by David N on Sunday, September 9, 2007 4:09am

A quiet night in the suburban twilight frog neighborhood. Mr. Beatrice makes his way across the patio table while talking heads waft gentlh across the itunes.

heres what happened head count: 283

posted by Rob on Sunday, September 9, 2007 3:25am

posted by David N on Thursday, August 30, 2007 1:34pm

Sept 20-22 at the Eve Alvord Theatre at Seattle Children's Theatre.

posted by David N on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 12:45am

"Milkshake thrown from SUV hits woman"

Don't care about the details.

posted by Kirk on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 12:12pm

Go. Now. It's free. I'd never been to The Frye before, and now I love it. And the exhibit is only around for another week. I've never seen so many hairdryers in one place before.

posted by John A on Monday, August 27, 2007 -1:55am

1. The Resets played probably the best first song of a set I've ever seen. It was part metal, part dance, part trance, and all balls. And it lasted forever.

2. The pre-show and inter-set DJ'ing of lounge music and easy listening? Excellent choice.

3. There were a lot of men in hats in attendance last night.

4. Overhead from one of the men in hats: "You know, I got this hat, and now all these douchebags have gotten hats."

5. Possible spin-off band invented #1: Blue Oyster Kilt

6. Farewell, Joanne Kaufmann. Brian Hambly will miss you, as will the rest of us.

7. Overhead during the quietest part of the set, from waaaay back in the crowd: "Well, I just got back from San Fransisco...". The notable thing about that otherwise mundane snapshot into someone's travel recap was the fact that only the back line of the band seemed to hear it; it wafted over the heads of the rest of the crowd, around the ears of the 4 frontmen in the band, and caught the bass player, the drummer, and accordion player square in the jaw. All three looked at each other and shared a laugh. Then the mandolin and banjo players looked back and thought we were laughing at them.

8. Possible spin-off band invented #2: Million Dollar Football.

9. Everything is funny, including nominally funny spin-off band names, when you're exhausted, riding home in a old van at 2am.

10. Ballard has officially become Belltown. Farewell, Ballard, I'll visit you when I'm in the mood. You don't need my help anymore.

posted by Kirk on Friday, August 24, 2007 10:46am

A big shout-out to Justin for getting me on the guest list for last night's show at Marymoor Park! The weather was nice, the sound was great. Local guitar guy Bill Frisell joined the band for the encore. And thanks to Evan for letting me have a spot on the blanket and hugging me when I cried.

posted by Rob on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 10:08am

You can now buy tickets here!

posted by John O on Monday, August 20, 2007 10:43am

My favorite lines from the new show, so far:

"Why doesn't my couch feel as good as this?"

"I don't understand that show at all"

"This scene has already gone on long enough"

"Holy bananas!"

"A place where anything can happen at any time to anyone or anything anyhow"

"I’m a simple man, and I don’t want to brag, but my natural charisma and organic rapport isn’t lost on these lost machines"

posted by Kirk on Friday, August 17, 2007 12:31pm

You've heard about it. It's called Beehive Sessions. There's 10 new songs. We've been recording it FOR-EVER. Like, I think we started recording it last fall. Fall of 2006. And now we're close. All the recording is done. And we've been mixing it. Well, I say WE, but it's actually our producer, the Esteemable Mr. Jon Auer who is doing the mixing. And the mixing is practically done. Today I spent a few hours in the studio with Mr. Auer, listening to some of the songs, and tweaking this and tweaking that. Making changes so subtle only a member of "Awesome" would ever know the difference. Here a theremin, there a trumpet. Over there a banjo. Under this tree an accordion. Then add a GONG. On one song we hired the legendary Mark Nichols to arrange a string section -- a whole bunch of violins that will BLOW YOUR MIND. I mean, literally, your mind, like a gasket or a runny nose, will be blown. There's songs about bees and beehives, numbers, telephones, night skies, computer memmory leaks, a lady named Sherrie, and other stuff like that.

AND IT SOUNDS AMAZING.

And by that I mean fantastic. Incredible. Spectacular. We're all very excited and proud.

I don't know if I'

posted by David N on Sunday, July 29, 2007 7:20pm

It's early morning in Bath, England. Jetlag is a nagging strumpet, so nickers to that. I had a dream about capturing a phone camera video clip of a series of lamp posts outside a window that formed an infinity motif, but when I recorded, I was able to crawl inside the motif and watch scenes from someone's party fade in and out of my phone lens. Flooding has sent the entire country into bits of chaos. There was glorious sunbreak yesterday, so I walked across the picturesque hills to a chapel of St. Mary. And I was a rugby-playing extra in a film. Time for tea.

posted by John O on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 1:16am

Last night I made it back into town in time to go to the final show of the 14/48 theater festival. Evan was playing with the band, adding trumpet and vocals to covers of "Sound and Vision" and "White Rabbit". (Sarah Rudinoff, also in the band, did a great version of Eartha Kitt's "I Want to Be Evil".) Behind the scenes, Basil did a bang-up job directing a play by Beth Petersen. Her smart script on the theme "Persistence of Vision" featured passion and intrigue in the Old West, complete with fake gunfire. After the show, I mingled downstairs with such Seattle luminaries as Charles Leggett, Rachel Hynes, Eric Ray Anderson, Brangien Davis, Tina La Plant, and the guy from that one band.

posted by Rob on Sunday, July 22, 2007 1:33pm

We played a wonderful show this last Sunday with Listing Ship from LA and 3 Leg Torso from Portland. These two generous bands are fantastic and deserve a bit of ye olde online attention when you have a minute.

posted by John O on Tuesday, July 10, 2007 5:53pm

I saw an amazing exhibit of traditional Japanese paper dolls yesterdy at the the KOBO gallery at Hiog. The dolls are about 6" tall and made of clay. All the clothing is made from Chiyogami, which is a fine decorative art paper that looks like cloth. The dolls were in poses from traditional Japanese life such as a tea ceremony, harvesting rice, texting on a cell phone, etc. The dolls are made by Patti Reiko Osebold, who was raised in Hawaii, but now lives in Spokane. She is a big fan of "Awesome", which makes us all very happy!

posted by Rob on Sunday, July 8, 2007 2:49pm

Now I’m burrowing my phlegm-filled head to hide from sunlight that peeks around the blue velvet. The floors are wood and hard. I can see scraps of paper torn from dinosaur books and splats of Cadmium Yellow Light. From every corner of the apartment there are voices. The octopus painting whispers at me, desiring birth, desiring completion. The poem notebook taunts me, reminding me of pacts unfulfilled. A half-finished treatise outlining an atheist’s defense of God is giving me weird looks. The banjo beckons, smirking, and I swear I saw it move. Soon a nest will form around me. A nest of pills and tissues and bowls of half eaten soup. Books to read and the iPod on a rickety TV tray. Cough drop wrappers and a cool wet rag for the forehead, now discarded warm and damp on the edge of the bed. The thesaurus (Roget’s 3rd ed.) is always within arm’s reach. Likewise to journals, pens, notebooks, and a pad of paper with four rectangles, printed in 1978, labeled “Cartoons By David Nixon.”

I'm lying on my side, typing with one hand. Hitting the shift button is really Annoying. I wonder what I'll be like for our show on Saturday. Probably kept alive with Emergen-C and RedBull.

posted by David N on Wednesday, June 27, 2007 10:51am

The Hungry Man Double Salisbury is getting cold. The cranberry cobbler is growing a subtle layer of sugar skin. I make a small "x" in its top. It doesn't mind. I can wait it out. Time has no meaning here.

Just because I named my fish doesn't give it the right to stare.

posted by Kirk on Monday, June 11, 2007 10:01am

West Mercer kids have more fun! (actual school slogan)

That's me on the top row, far right, next to my teacher, Mrs. Davis. The one that gave me the Toucan kite! (see blog from Monday, April 16, 2007 10:00am) I can still name everybody else... that's Drayton Harrison, bottom left.

posted by Rob on Tuesday, June 5, 2007 5:48pm

I find myself back at Valley View Elementary, wandering around and gawking at how tiny everything’s become. I find the spot near the Portable where I made a kid vomit just by making realistic dry heave noises. (A specialty of mine.) I crawl under the carols in C classroom (now called “The Loft”) to see if my graffiti is still there. I run into Debbie, a classmate of mine from second grade. She remembers me as one of the troublemakers, always in The Red Chairs. We reminisce about Wednesday Activities, Mr. T’s teddy bear collection, and how they really used to let us run wild back in the day. Here’s where we played King Of The Tire. Here’s where we made candles and I flicked hot wax in a girl’s hair. Over there’s where I got in trouble for playing the Punch ‘Em In The Nuts game. And there’s where I met my best friend Sadiq, the only one in the class finger painting with his toes. I go find my former teachers, seeking tacit absolution for past crimes. Mrs. Clement is incredulous at my Ph.D.: “Really? Because you, um, weren’t really that into academics when you were here…” I realize my handwriting still looks just like the handwriting of Mrs. Noble, because I spent so much time learning to forge her signature that year. After 38 years they’re shutting it all down, saying kids don’t need smaller classrooms.

I’m in the front on the far right. Debbie is two persons to the left.

posted by David N on Sunday, June 3, 2007 1:23pm

The Super Spartan. Hilary Putnam's objection to Logical Behaviorism.

posted by David N on Monday, May 21, 2007 3:03pm

I don't know when I made it.

posted by David N on Thursday, May 3, 2007 11:58am

Exact authors unknown.
---------------------
Friday 10:07 PM

Kirk is washing David’s back at the kitchen sink. JohnA describes a card game and Rob asks “Is it like tarot?”

10:49 PM

“Let’s make Monkey Tail Soup! It’s a delicacy in my country!”

10:55 PM

A weird card game named Set is the current obsession.

11:03

Kirk: “Hey, what is Michael Jackson’s son called? Bracelet or Napkin? Pamphlet?”

11:33

Antoine Beard -- a French fop, and a painter whose mustache grows all the way down into his throat. The inside of his esophagus is covered in a poison, and he whips his moustache out of his throat at his enemies. In fact, that’s his super power. And at night when he roams the airports as a super villain, he is known as A. Beard. Scene: he sits in a hot tub, with a top hat on, and a monocle, and he says to the people in the tub with him: “Monkey Tail soup anyone?” and just as he says it, a big turd floats to the surface. He has obscenely large teeth.

Saturday 12:48 AM

Sung to the tune of Lady Madonna

Lady Diana
You died in a wreck
All those paparazzi
made you break your neck
-----------------------
Wow, pure content! But apparently we all lost interest (or coherence) after the Lady Di reference.

posted by Evan on Wednesday, May 2, 2007 2:05pm

posted by Basil on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 3:08pm

The vinyl pouts and squeals as they shift position and lean in. They smile widely and shake my hand vigorously. They always shake hard. They all arrive the same: bright as sunshine, a mirror to the clouds, ready to lasso the moon and the stars. Inevitably, I send them away a broken, discarded shell of their former selves. I reach for a maple bar. Of course it's stale. I think the chairs have a longer tenure than I do.

posted by Kirk on Friday, April 20, 2007 10:42am

The entire block where the Comet Tavern is has been demolished and in its place is a 10-stories-deep pit, like there's a giant strip-mining operation going on. But actually, there's going to be a huge show here, and there's thousands of people lined up all the way down Pike street, waiting to get in. And they're all wearing white angel-style choir robes. Next I'm backstage. It's a production of the musical Annie (which I was in in 8th grade). I see the woman playing Annie. She's not a kid at all. In fact, she's totally hot! And tall, with long straight red hair down to the middle of her back. And I realize that this is some "Adult" version of Annie. And I've got a bit part in it, as a guy named "Disco." But, of course, I don't remember any of my lines. I'm thumbing through the script (it's like 500 pages) trying to find my lines, but I can't find them. I keep getting distracted by Annie. Then I wake up, and I realize I've slept until noon. Again.

posted by David N on Thursday, April 19, 2007 4:09pm

It's true; I brought two kites to the retreat. One was my trusty box kite, and the other a carbon-fiber sport kite in the shape of a Toucan. The wind at the beach was perfect to launch both of them, and soon they were at straining at the ends of their tethers, several hundred feet up in the air. Calloo! Callay! What fun to fly a kite! Paying out the line, Basil eventually came near the end of the kite string. Failing to notice that it wasn't tied to the spool, he foolishly let the Toucan kite fly free of his grasp, and up into the air. Running after it up the beach, we realized that his efforts were probably futile, since the wind was carrying it away quicker than he could run. After a moment though, the kite seemd to be hovering in one place. The string, had gotten caught somewhere on the ground! There was hope that we might get it back.

We followed the string down from the sky (the kite was probably 300 feet up in the air) and down into the marshy area behind the sand dunes. Luckily, there was a vacant lot between two houses that gave us the closest access to where the string was caught. The problem was that it was about 20 feet out into the marsh, which was overgrown with tall bushes. We sent Kirk and David in, since they had bushwhacking experience from our previous adventure in Botswana. They crawled out on top of the bushes, which bent down and threatened to drop them in the marsh. Spreading themselves out and rolling across the branches seemed to work best, kind of like crowd surfing in a mosh pit. Guiding them to the string with the sound of our voices, they eventually got a hold of the kite string, and emerged from the thick brush with only some minor scrapes and bruises. Thanks, guys! The Toucan kite will fly again.

posted by Rob on Monday, April 16, 2007 10:00am

Stranger LineOut readers "Roda" and "ruby" install us as sexually relevant beings in the music blogoshpere alongside more obvious choices such as Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, and the Go-Gos.

Do I file this under "Don't Believe Your Hype" or "Embarassing Admission of Self-Googlism?" Either way: ruby, I'm right here. If you contact me before noon today, I'll email you directions to the beach house to which we're all retreating this weekend.

posted by Evan on Friday, April 13, 2007 11:45am

"Hey, get out the way!"
"What are you doing, asshole?"
"Get out of the street!"
If I want to walk in the street, in the middle of the street, in the middle of the goddamn street, in the middle of the goddamn yellow lines in the middle of the goddamn street, then I'm going to do that. And people can go around me. I don't have to answer to them, because I don't answer to anyone after 4:45. This is my time. This is my can of beer. This is my memory of family's beach house, and these are my feet.

posted by Kirk on Thursday, April 12, 2007 4:36pm

Arranged by first word of subject line:

Hurry (22)
Buy (12)
Urgent (11)
Save (10)
Best (10)
Quality (8)
US (3)
Enhance (3)
International (3)
15% (2)

posted by Basil on Thursday, April 12, 2007 2:31pm

The coffee tastes bitter, and my brain feels like the cup. Paper-sided conical shape, open at one end, ready to be filled. The woman's voice is shrill, like a bag of cats being stuffed into an overhead compartment. The windows are greasy, warping the world outside into a funhouse diorama. Even when I look at the floor, I can't escape it. I try counting the little bits of tar in the linoleum. After 46 and no end in sight, I quit. I can't look up, though. She'll see me. She'll call my name. And I'll have to go...out there.

posted by Kirk on Thursday, April 12, 2007 9:57am

posted by John O on Tuesday, April 3, 2007 3:59pm

posted by John O on Tuesday, April 3, 2007 2:49pm

Here's another edition of "today's spam email titles":

Joyce said you might like
watchdog beaming
Re: no wattle
But lebanon
4ever young growth hormone
Fr.ien.dshi.p

All of these, coincidentally, are ripe kunjabunja titles...
See you crackers at the show tonight!
Love,
Dusty Springfield

posted by Kirk on Friday, March 30, 2007 8:38am

I AM IRON MAN!

posted by Evan on Thursday, March 29, 2007 4:51pm

Your results:
You are Spider-Man
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.



Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

posted by John A on Thursday, March 29, 2007 -1:40am

It said I was Cat Woman.

I don't want to talk about it.

posted by Basil on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 11:05am

Your results:
You are Green Lantern
Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.



Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

I dunno why it said "hot-headed". That's total bullshit! I'll kill them all!

posted by David N on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 -1:14am

Your results:
You are Superman
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.



Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

posted by John O on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 8:36pm

Once you get hooked on a pattern, it's everywhere

posted by John O on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 3:05pm

Last night I finally decided to get rid of the beard. I was shaving in stages, but then I reached a stage that was too funny to resist, so I kept it.

posted by David N on Monday, March 26, 2007 2:29pm

I just received these fantastic lyrics from my good friend Emerald (age 4):

"all the way through the hammer tune he sang
all the way to jane
it may not be the jammer tune
it may go all the same

IT IS THE CRIME OF LOVE
IT IS THE CRIME OF LOVE
IT IS THE CRIME OF LOVE"

posted by David N on Sunday, March 25, 2007 2:03am

Antimony is a metal. It (or at least compounds containing it) has been known about since before 3000 BC. Antimony and many of its compounds are toxic. Clinically, antimony poisoning is very similar to arsenic poisoning. In small doses, antimony causes headache, dizziness, and depression. Larger doses cause violent and frequent vomiting, and will lead to death in a few days.

I wish I had an electric guitar made of antimony.

posted by David N on Monday, March 19, 2007 2:01pm

As soon as I wake up I go for a walk on the beach at the end of Madison street. There used to be a ferry from there to Kirkland. And there was a trolley car that went straight up Madison to downtown. (It was probably a faster way to get to work than driving on 520 is, said the Physician’s Assistant, Thomas, trying to distract me from the thundering pain as he injected me with Lidocaine.) I walk until I run out of beach and then I walk down streets and wonder at the lives of the rich who own the waterfront mansions. I find a tiny trail to an old abandoned dock and I sit and draw a picture of “The Lamp of Beelzebub”. Then as I’m walking back, I step on a rusty nail sticking out of a rotting piece of 2x4. It goes through my shoe and about halfway through my foot. My hands fling down my notebook and my leg goes up like a yard flamingo, causing the wood to swivel on nail. I howl as I yank it out. Then limping and cursing I stumble to a rock where I pull off my shoe and sock and examine the black and bloody hole in the forefoot, an inch from the interphalangeal joints. Fuck. I have no health insurance. fuck fuck. This really fucking hurts. I take a picture with my phone. I’m hobbling barefoot for a while. It’s only dragging more muck into the wound. So I tear a page from my journal and pretend it’s a band-aid, then put on the sock and shoe, loosely, with much swearing, and begin the gimps journey to the car. I’m not even sure where I am. Getting lost on my walks is kind of the point. Now I need to get back ASAP. I’m walking like the elephant man. Rich people walking their dogs turn away as I pass. or gawk from their SUVs as they drive by. I call Group Health. They put me on hold: “Whoooa, one on one. I wanna play that game tonight.” I laugh out loud. I’ve got no insurance, but they say come on down anyway. I drive to Group Health, using my left leg only. At the front window: “Are you in the system?” “I was fucking born at this hospital.” “Oh, look. You’re in the system.” Then I’m in a little room, crinkling up the paper on the bed. I answer No to all the questions: allergic to any medications? taking any prescription medications? Do you smoke? Can you remember the last time you had a tetanus shot?
I get a tetanus shot from the nice gay bald mustached nurse. Then Thomas, the PA comes to clean the wound. He needs to numb the foot first. “This is going to hurt. A LOT.”, he says, “You know that part in Midnight Express where they beat the kid on the feet? They do that because the feet are really sensitive.” I lie on my stomach and he shoves the needle in. I see fire. And dark caves with bats. I see babies crawling on blue blankets. “Almost done now David.” I see plane crashes. Flashing lights. And more bats. “All done!” Now he’s cleaning the wound out, and I’m gripping the rails of the bed, trying to only writhe from the waist up, because this is not numb at all. Thomas went to PA school at Duke, he says. I have no response to that.
Now I’m filling out “Charity Care” forms for poor people like me. They pay for everything, including meds. I go to the pharmacy and they give me 20 vicodin. For free! Hell yes! That’s 20 nights of raven dreams and messed up late night art, totally on the house. They also give me a fantastic pamphlet on Tetanus and Diphtheria that provides the solution to a particular painting I’ve been struggling to finish.

posted by David N on Thursday, March 15, 2007 5:42pm

Sometimes you have a dream wherein, upon waking, you yearn to return immediately to that untapped space in your brain so rarely accessed, even as the memory of the dream quickly slips away like silk in a windstorm with each passing second until only the yearning lingers.

Amidst the fog of my own memory -- further clouded by conscious brain activity like making toast, taking a shower, traveling to work, writing a blog entry instead of working -- what I can recall of my dream last night is: lying on a hillside at night, propped up on my elbows, talking to a woman with dark brown hair, overtaken by the feeling that the moment I was in was somehow Very Important. The moon was in full bloom, which I could see through the leaves of a small palm tree right next to me.

On my way to work this morning, in the middle of the intersection between Denny and Stewart, a palm tree just like the one in my dream had been planted. It rejuvinated the yearning just a bit longer, enough to write this. Now it's gone.

posted by John O on Thursday, March 15, 2007 12:32pm

Did a cursory sound check at 7. Went and had a mediocre Bockwurst at The People's Pub. Went back to the Sunset at 9:10. The show was sold out. I had to talk the door man into letting in some friends. wall to wall bodys with all their body smells. It was, you know, a rock club. Just like in the movies. The Shee-Bee-Gees blew our minds. Georgous girls singing gorgeous harmonies. After they were done I informed them that all four of them would be marrying all 7 of the members of "Awesome", math be damned. I think they were made a bit uncomfortable by this. Or maybe they were just doing the cute shy-girl thing. But seriously, wow. Once we marry them, we're going to have their Shee-Bee-Gee babies, and then the babies will start a band called the Shee-Bee-Gee-Baby-Bee-Gees. It will be fantastic.
Then C'mon C'mon came on. I'd never seen them before. We just started sharing a rehearsal space with them and I'd only just barely met them. Turns out they're not even assholes. And they play good music too. I particularly enjoyed their take on the "killing innocent bunny rabbits and feeling bad about it" genre. Always fun to play with more theatre-world art geeks.
Next up was Central Services. The drummer, Kevin, was at the front of the stage, played standing up, and also sang. They were also great. At one point I was backstage with John O and I remarked, "These guys are really tight! WE should try that some time!" He looked thoughtful for a moment and then: "Nah."

We went on at midnight. Many of our fans were turned away on account of its being sold out. Because of our cursory sound check, we did "the sound check song" which was supposed to remain a super secret song that no one but the sound engineers get to hear. But people seemed to like it, so maybe we'll play it again sometime. We pulled out some dittys that we don't often play live, like Genghis Kahn and Sherrie. We also did a bunch of songs from the upcoming album: Shape Song (a new one that many people haven't heard yet but which I LOVE), cell song, telephone, anthem, beehive, ones and zeroes. Plus all the "A" standards. I drew a confusing venn diagram during When It Rains In The Middle Of The Ocean. In my "dance" during Are You Aware, I mimed knocking the heads together of two small children, then eating their heads, then having the transubstantiated heads (or something) come out my stomach, then whipping the audience with the stuff that came out of my stomach, then flossing my teeth with it. There was no room to do a flying dive-roll into the audience, so I just fell on the stage, bruising my something-or-other. I was surprisingly sober for this show. Go figure!

What a great night. Now my suit badly wants some dry-cleaning.

posted by David N on Sunday, March 4, 2007 2:54pm

THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF TARAF DE HAIDOUKS
I love the Romanian "band of brigands". They're always smiling.

BOUND
Before the Wachowski's Matrixed our brains, there was this gem.

THE PLAYER
Saw it long ago, forgot it, Altman died, watched it again.

EXTRAS
Ricky Gervais forever. Kate Winslet is my hero.

[JET LI'S] FEARLESS
Li fans unite! It's his last wushu film! Duh!

WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR
There is an "Awesome" song about this in the works. See Kirk's review.

PUCKER UP
Whistling is art, man. See this.

BRICK
Detective story for the angsty young. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is my hero. See this.

THE PIANO TEACHER
You have to love the French. No, you HAVE to. It's a law.

Up next:
SPELLBOUND
BREATHLESS

I love the library.

posted by John O on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 11:51am

La Belle et la Bête (Beauty and the Beast, 1946) - at least Jean Cocteau has the smarts to say to you at the beginning, "Hey, I know this is a kids' story and you all think I'm a film genius and everything but I really think this is a beautiful story and I'm gonna go ahead and tell it without irony or pretense so for the next couple hours, if you could, you know, remember what it was like to be a kid? That would be great. Your friend, Jean." (loose translation)

My Dinner with Andre (1981) - Yeah, I know. Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory sure have a lot of art to discuss. I tried really hard not to want to slap Wallace Shawn in the face and it worked. I ended up wanting to slap Andre Gregory.

The Last Picture Show (1971) - One of the best things I've seen in a long while. Further research reveals that Timothy Bottoms went on to play George W. Bush for much of his recent career, including the title role in the ill-fated parody/sit-com, "That's My Bush!"
While it's fun to see Jeff Bridges, Randy Quaid and John Hillerman as babies in this black-and-white Bogdanovich mood-fest, it's all about the ladies - Ellen Burstyn, Cybill Shepherd, Eileen Brennan and the incredible Cloris Leachman, whose performance will peel the paint off your living room walls.

posted by Basil on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 10:53am

...Or at least the first half of it before I fell asleep from boredom. (oh yeah, and exhaustion, too.) It seems that Woody Allen keeps making the same movie over and over again these days. Yawn. But oh, that Scarlet Johanssen.

That's literally the only thing I've had time to watch in the past month. Oh, with the exception of "The Real Buddy Holly Story", about 3 1/2 weeks ago. Good stuff. Do yourself a favor and skip the biopic with Gary Busey.

posted by John A on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 10:03am

...was the last movied I watched on DVD. Great soundtrack... some lots of Patsy Cline, Dropkick Murphys... and some great directing by Mr. Scorsese. I'm not sure it really deserved the best picture Oscar, but I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Other than that, I haven't really had time to keep up on TV or movies. Sorry.

posted by Rob on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 9:28am

Here's what the library has bestowed upon me recently, and my capsule reviews:

Inconvenient Truth: I hate our country.
Who Killed the Electric Car: I hate our corporations.
When the Levees Broke: Could I possibly hate our president any more? Yep, I guess I could.
Shampoo: At least Hal Ashby can make me happy again.
Radiohead Live 1994 London Astoria: Oh, now I'm angry again. Nice work, Thom.

And here's my relative position for movies that the library knows I want:

The devil and Daniel Johnston: 73 of 115 [ 58 active holds before you ]
Idiocracy: 262 of 381 [ 227 active holds before you ]
The prestige: 351 of 891 [ 298 active holds before you ]
The Proposition: 144 of 198 [ 112 active holds before you ]
Aguirre, der Zorn Gottes: 5 of 5 [ 2 active holds before you ]

Sweet! I'm gonna get my Herzog on soon...

And here a couple of movies that I've created:

A Thousand Times Yes: Japanese coming of age comedy-drama
Kill the Lights: Newly discovered early Hitchcock classic
Eté sinistre (Sinister Summer): Steamy French romance set in pre-war Vietnam
Farce: Mock-documentary about mock-documentaries**

**Falls all over itself and never succeeds, like some Christopher Guest films. Can he just agree to quit while he's ahead and stop tarnishing his legacy?

posted by Kirk on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 8:46am

Though the mist was swirling round my crown and the blood spirals made home in my recording orbs, I have no feasible expedient for that moment when my reaching hands met the offal I have brought home and watched. Its crude gesture in the direction of a plot might be summarized thus: plucky 50’s housewife, embalmed with stereotyping, raises a division of offspring in spite of 50’s alcoholic husband -- also bereft of third dimension – by winning contests with her worldly wit. Woody Harrelson was at least able to find a substitute for acting in the form of a distracting jaw condition. Julianne Moore could find no similar distraction and so her absent talent was as ever present as a genital itch. Even infants and the feeble-minded, forced to inhale this rotting tripe by some Clockwork Orangean torture device, would have had their intelligences insulted by this peachy stain where vomit once dried masquerading as cinema: It would have been less obvious had the good guys worn white and the bad black. If the malodorous movie had any merit, it lie in its ability to get its viewer to lift his salty fingers out of the Pringles, if only for a moment, while he gave the middle finger to his laptop screen. Poor, poor laptop. it was as if a million pixels suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Some will stand for Julianne Moore and arm themselves with Far From Heaven, Boogie Nights, or even (god forbid) The Hours. (I picture a team of goats hurtling themselves at Sauron. He scythes them with a whispy swipe, like a horse tail to flies.) Go watch The Forgotten. She sucks.

Anyway, I give it 2 stars.

Next?

posted by David N on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 1:58am

David's not ashamed to admit Beauty and the Beast kept him company last night. I'll cop to glutting myself on compelling (addictive?) television shows this winter: rewatching the Sopranos and Six Feet Under, keeping up with LOST and Battlestar Galactica, and familiarizing myself with the genius of Steve Coogan via his Alan Partridge series. Looking at it like this, I cease to wonder why I'm not feeling all that creatively productive this season. My beard's coming right along, though.

But I hereby challenge the rest of the "Awesome"s (our primary blog readership) to list what their DVD players have been spinning for the past week or so.

Also, if you've got ten minutes and are as interested in bees as we all once were, checkit.

posted by Evan on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 1:45pm

Last night at 3:25 am: Eyes open, wide awake, as if I'd never gone to sleep. I sit up in my bed. It's pitch black, except for a tiny pixel of light coming from a power strip near the defunct television set. My hand knows where the lamp switch by the bed is without fumbling. Next I'm in the kitchen. The house is nearly foodless, but I find some pork flavored Top Ramen and make it. It needs summer crisp sweet corn but I haven't any to add. I put it in a large blue bowl I inherited from Bret Betzer and I place the bowl inside a giant pot so I can have it on the bed without spilling. What now? I could work on one of the three unfinished paintings that litter the west side of my studio apartment. I often trip on the easel legs when I try to open the window in the middle of the night to get some air. I could pick up one of my banjos and noodle around. But that's hard to do while eating ramen. So I look for a DVD. I have maybe 12 left in my collection, a gerrymandered assortment. My hand is reaching for The Incredibles when I see another one, one I haven't watched in a long time. So there I am at nearly 4 in the morning, slurping watery broth and singing quietly along with Belle: "Little town, it's a quiet village. Every day, like the one before. Little town, full of little people, waking up to say..."

posted by David N on Monday, February 26, 2007 2:19pm

This equation proves our production of Seven Brides For Seven Brothers will be an earth-shattering disaster.

posted by John O on Thursday, February 8, 2007 3:10pm

Our trusty sound man and math genius, Kevin has correctly solved the man-date problem. The formula that will help you get there is, of course this:
(where n is the number of band members and r is the number of man-dates that can occur each day.) Which in this case works out to be , or SEVEN.
So all of the man-dates (21 in total) can happen in 7 days, 3 man-dates per day, with one band member left man-dateless each night. Interestingly, it matters to some extent what order you have the man-dates in. If you put them in the wrong order, you won't be able to fit the 21 man-dates into 7 days. But Kevin showed me how to do it. Trust me. He also noted, "The interesting thing about this solution - you can add a member to the band for a total of eight band members and the number of days needed for band man-dates does not change." Nice work Kevin!

Kevin doesn't need another a jewel-encrusted box made from the souls of innocent children baying into the abyss, so he's instructed me to give it away to a fan. E-mail me if you are interested. Otherwise I will just throw it into the audience on Feb 17 at the Showbox when we open for The Presidents of The United States of America. Depending on what it hits and how it lands, it may cause the annihilation of the universe.

posted by David N on Thursday, February 8, 2007 2:41pm

Suppose we have the following situation: Each of the members of the band is going to have a man-date with each of the other members of the band. But no one can have more than one man-date per night. What is the minimum number of days that it will take for all of the man-dates to have occurred?

Anyone who is not in the band who knows the answer can e-mail me at david@kunjabunja.com.

Those who answer correctly (and include a suitable proof its correctness) will win a jewel-encrusted box made from the souls of innocent children baying into the abyss.

posted by David N on Tuesday, February 6, 2007 -2:57am

1. Kirk is making chili with Licky.
2. We have destroyed Burnout 3!
3. Brian Eno.
4. Noted Polish writer, Nightsky.
5. Toucan Rob got someone fired for dancing in Auburn in 1993, and we ran into her at the teriyaki joint.
6. Tracking the Clapping!
7. Band exits, stage left, in a blaze of glory, but not the one Jon Bon Jovi describes.

posted by Evan on Monday, February 5, 2007 12:33am

This weekend we ignored the time honored traditions of the first weekend in February and got to work on 4 new songs at Dub Train recording studios. Our producer, Jon Auer, brought in an old Sony dynamic microphone that sounds great when he mixes it in a little bit to get that "dirty room" sound. On the other side of the glass in the clean room, Pete points and clicks furiously with the professional tools. In the artist's lounge, David and Kirk trade off crashing cars in "Burnout 3: Takedown" while Evan sends text messages and I wait to record a concertina or steel drum part. John A. puts the finishing touches on a song with a lovely piano part, and I bring in the cattle for tonight, water the horses, close up the hen house, shake out the weevils and pat down the interns. All in a weekend's work for this league of extraordinary gentlemen.

posted by Rob on Monday, February 5, 2007 -3:49am

1. "It's fixable"
2. Weird studio buzz = time suck
3. Kirk is sick...still champ'd his vocal
4. Taco Del Rio almost stiffed us a chicken burrito
5. Whatever happened to Kutie?
6. David makes his first woodblock attempt
7. Drum machines and keyboards from 1980
8. Candle in the Ass (Elton John prequel)
9. Rectangles, circles, squares, unaware
10. Basil's new bass = shiny sound
11. N.S.A.B.J.
12. No one knows the lyrics to that Outfield song

posted by John O on Monday, January 29, 2007 -3:48am

It is gettin' so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off.

posted by John O on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 4:35pm

multifarious categories circumcise jfwf
involve explaining distorted
Exec: Peter Jackson will never work for me again
Hello comrade with small thing!
Men lift wrecked car off woman, leave scene Video
It much harder
on chambermaid the mccracken
Sharing is caring

posted by Kirk on Monday, January 15, 2007 9:17am

FACT: In Arizona, it rains only at night.

FACT: "Extended Stay America" is a sentence fragment.

FACT: Mexican food must be eaten daily, or not at all.

posted by Rob on Thursday, January 11, 2007 -2:53am

I'm off on my 3-week crazy unplanned road trip. (But I'll be back for the Feb 1 show at Chop Suey!) First I stopped off in Port Townsend to attend the gala opening party for the Heartbreaker exhibition at the Artisans On Taylor gallery where I have a painting of mine hanging.

Props to curator, artist extraordinaire and long time friend Counsel Langley for putting the show together. There's some seriously cool art up there.

I'd also like to thank the massive amounts of Gin & Tonic that accompanied me to the gala event. Oh, and I met some really awesome people there. Yay for artists!

posted by David N on Monday, January 8, 2007 7:02pm

THINGS TO DO IN 2007:

1. Release new album
2. Play more shows
3. Make more T-shirts
4. Go to NYC
5. Pick up carrots, lettuce, butter
6. Wash self
7. Burn embarrassing love letters never sent
8. Create elaborate pulley system
9. Call mom

Thanks very much to all who came out to the Croc on December 31, 2006 (pfft, that old year) and made the evening a dreamy ice cream sundae of a night. Your love makes us a better band.

posted by John O on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 3:50pm

posted by Basil on Saturday, December 16, 2006 1:31pm

My Dearest,

I am MRS.KABILA MARY, from Democratic Republic of Congo. There is an imformation I would like you to keep very confidential There is a sum of money my Husband Late President Laurent Kabila, deposited in a security company Abidjan Cote d'ivoire for safe keeping.

Before he was killed by his Eldest Millitary Son. The squable happened as immediately we returned back from our London trip. My husband married us two.I am the second wife.I will not be able to give you the full details that led to that urgly incidents. The Eldest Son is the current President of our country now. For now I am staying in Abijdan, the capital of Republic of Cote d'voire,just to save my life,with my three children. The money in question, is 22, Million U.S.Dollars.

I can not make the withdrawal of this fund, because my husband registered the Beneficiary of the fund as his (Foriegn Bussiness Partner) and also (Family valuables as the content of the deposit) The documents of the deposit are with me.

What I would want you to do, is to assits me to get the consignment withdrawn from the security company, and we shall open a small account in a Bank here in your name, and transfer the money to your country, through the account .We shall replace the name Foriegn
Partner to your own name, because the code was used for security reason.

I will give you the 10% of the money for your assitance.Ther is no risk in this transaction. I will use the remain balance of the money for an investiment in your country for the future of my children.

If you are intrested, and can maintain the very confidential of this transaction,you e-mail me immediately for more clearification, and also note that I am a refugees in Abidjan, Cote d’ lvoire because of the assesnation of my late husband,and the civil war going on in our country,Democratic Republic of Congo.I will be waitting for your kind response.


Thank you very much and God bless you.

Mrs.KABILA MARY.

posted by John O on Thursday, December 7, 2006 11:40am

it's me Collin
it's me Ivory
it's me Lionel
it's me Curt
it's me Nadia
it's me Eliseo
it's me Damien
Blaine, do you think I should surprise Jerrold with this
it's me Christian

posted by Kirk on Tuesday, December 5, 2006 8:32am

We played a fun show Thursday night with Mr. Longwinters and The Tapes and the Tapes and I sold every one of our 8 remaining copies of "Delaware". Call it the day "Awesome" sold out. Because we did.
Seriously.
I was The Closer, I get the coffee.

PS We had a fun time playing for all of the ages. Perhaps we should do it again sometime.

posted by Basil on Sunday, December 3, 2006 1:12pm

Even more fun than sledding down a snowy hill into traffic!

posted by David N on Saturday, December 2, 2006 3:37pm

As Janice Go Grade
Your answer how to become RICH is MAKU
Reformation Armpit
A Wonder To Behold...!
dfhggdhtruyi
INVESTORS are Drooling ***

posted by Kirk on Thursday, November 30, 2006 8:10am

So I went out for a walk in the beautiful snow. Went to Cal Anderson park, thinking it would be pristine and empty and I would leave the first footprints, perhaps spellling out some quaint obscenity. But there were about 150 people there having a giant snowball fight. Two guys had climbed to the top of the "volcano" fountain (which had frozen) and were the primary object of people's snowballs. I managed a nice full facial hit on one of them. Very satisfying. Ran into B. Kiley, who kindly offered me a swig of whiskey from a paper bag. Became warmer. And drunker. Talked about Mel Gibson's new movie, and relationships, and tomorrow's show at the Hub Ballroom. Got smiled at by some snowy nymph. On my way home ran into C. Frizzelle. Small world.

I usually hate xmas time. The first hearing of that wretched music in the grocery store is an oasis of pain bubbling up like scorpion bile in the dark pit of my soul. But tonight, seeing a herd of strangers lobbing spheres of ice at each other at near midnight on a Wednesday, it was... nice.

Did I mention I got a little drunk?

posted by David N on Thursday, November 30, 2006 -1:50am

The following is paraphrased from a spam email entitled "buggy tend":

Remember when you were a young Saturday morning birdwatcher, learning the intricate lessons of predator-prey relationships? They seek a diminishing supply of insects and eat from a rich crop of berries. Ever wonder how birds were named? And how can you help stranded birds? Although many resident birds are still here, their voices are now quiet. Putting out a feeder is easy. Others are drawn to a special place. In late September, Turkey Vultures funnel south to the tip of Vancouver Island. This proud dignitary appears along the sidelines during every home game.

My question is: What home games on the tip of Vancouver Island?

posted by John O on Tuesday, November 28, 2006 3:58pm

I vote for that.
Great idea, Basil!
Why thank you!
Is that your hand on my leg?
Yes!
Thanks!
No problem!
Okay!
*stab*

HEY, DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE I CAN BUY SOME HASH-HEESH, MY MAIN MAN?
WHAT?!
I AM TOTALLY RAD, YOU FAT PIMP. WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT I AM STONE WACK FRONTING?!?!?
IT'S THE BALM!
WORDS!


(from a conversation between Basil and himself)

posted by John O on Tuesday, November 28, 2006 2:37pm

"Giddy-up, Braveheart! I can walk through airports!"

posted by Rob on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 2:31am

Michael Richards and OJ Simpson walk into a bar, where Mel Gibson is bartending. The punchline isn't good enough.

RIP Robert Altman

posted by John O on Tuesday, November 21, 2006 4:52pm

posted by Basil on Tuesday, November 21, 2006 4:27pm

His car was actually impounded. But he got it back. Didn't you, John?

posted by David N on Tuesday, November 21, 2006 12:52am

Actually, 'prowl' isn't quite the right term. "Theft" would actually be more accurate.

After a lovely evening of ballet in Queen Anne with our friends Mark and Joanna, Sarah and I arrived to where my oh-so-swanky '89 Honda Civic Wagon was parked (on 3rd & Valley in Queen Anne- you've been warned), and it was gone. Luckily, no irreplaceable items were in the car (although my new Juana Molina CD is now gone). But, fuuuuuuuck.

Hopefully, some yahoo took it for a joyride and abandoned it. Enjoy the oil change and coolant flush I got *today*, buddy!

Hey, can I get a ride from someone? Seriously, it's cold blogging out here in the middle of the street.

posted by John A on Friday, November 10, 2006 -1:12am

As far as I can tell, the meaning of life is not actually being able to read the meaning of life. Woah.

posted by Evan on Tuesday, November 7, 2006 12:27pm

On Friday Annex Theatre had a special edition of Spin The Bottle: 60 Seconds Max. About 50 performers each did 1-minute performances. Golly, it was fun! I was planning to do a little banjo piece, but instead decided to go ahead and explain the meaning of life. (This is something I've been talking about with the students in the Religion & Philosophy course I've been teaching this quarter at UW-Bothell.) A couple people have asked me to tell them what I said. I scanned the piece of paper I was reading from, so you can read it here:

posted by David N on Monday, November 6, 2006 5:22pm

There's no proof anyone's ever been kidnapped by Awesome...

Nope.

No proof at all.

posted by Basil on Sunday, November 5, 2006 6:46pm

What an interesting dream! In reality, we actually travel around in a white Dodge van. As you can see, it's not too creepy looking on the outside. This photo was taken right before we left for our ill-fated Canadian tour. For some reason, they wouldn't let us across the border.

As far as the kidnapping theme in your dream, I can only say that it clearly represents a Freudian desire to make breakfast for us on Sunday morning. Kirk likes his eggs over easy...

posted by Rob on Sunday, November 5, 2006 11:25am

"A week or so ago I dreamt that I was preparing for a Swivel gig, pulling boxes of mags out of my car, when I was suddenly grabbed and pulled into a creepy purple Econoline van. When I saw that the van was full of the Awesome fellas, however, I wasn't too alarmed. (I mean, not that you guys aren't tuff enuf or anything, but...) None of you would utter a peep in the way of explanation, although there was some snickering and giggling. We soon arrived at a kind of black-box-theater space, where I was deposited onto a metal folding chair on center stage. When I said, "Okay, so what's happening?" you all shouted, "It's an Awesome Kid-nappening!" And I was stoked because I had heard that these Awesome Kid-nappenings were a kind of honor... sort of like a secret society induction or something. And we all laughed and laughed. THE END.

So there you have it, Awesome is now appearing in dreams all over Seattle. Stick that in your blog and smoke it!"

posted by Evan on Wednesday, November 1, 2006 12:14pm

We've all nailed our alphabet-singing skills.

posted by Basil on Wednesday, Octocber 25, 2006 -1:06am

Anthem

[drawing of naked man-like figure with large nose and no chin]

1. Incomplete [star] +beginning
2. Full
3. Full +best straight part
4. Full

[drawing of a demon peeking over a brick wall]

Kirk - Queen Anne garden w/ chicken 2[star] -2x
John A - or green curry
Jon Auer - chicken w/ swimming rama {1[star] & 2[star]}2x
Jayme - pad see ewe 1[star]
w/ tofu no egg
side white rice

posted by John O on Tuesday, Octocber 24, 2006 3:48pm

Back into the studio today, we're going (Everybody!)
BACK INTO THE STUDIO TODAY!

It's the last leg of this particular recording journey, sadly (we love you Chroma! Happy Birthday, Jayme!), but I believe we've put together something pretty fantastic.
I say this now - *before* 2 days of major song surgery. Who cares! It'll still sound great! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm a day away from retirement and I just need to fish this paper clip out of my wall socket...

posted by Basil on Monday, Octocber 23, 2006 10:24am

All hail Michael Angelo Batio
All hail Michael Angelo Batio
All hail Michael Angelo Batio
Gosh, I feel like curtains again

Red Mill has gone downhill
But still we will eat their swill
Below the hill on Chroma's bill

All hail Michael Angelo Batio
All hail Michael Angelo Batio
All hail Michael Angelo Batio
Forcefield waitress

Buddha nature, buddha nature
Studebaker, studebaker
Food and take her, food and take her
All hail Michael Angelo Batio

posted by John O on Friday, September 29, 2006 -1:10am

...I'm just sayin'.

(Blogging from work when I'd rather be blogging from Chroma.)

posted by Evan on Thursday, September 28, 2006 12:56pm

I'm quitting the band so I can learn how to play like this guy.

posted by John A on Thursday, September 28, 2006 11:43am

There is no "I" in "Awesome".

posted by John A on Thursday, September 28, 2006 11:40am

This weekend we will will head out into the great wilderness for a band retreat. We will battle bears, roast mashmallows, earn merit badges, go hiking, tell ghost stories, catch fish with our bare hands, go on a peyote-guided spirit journey (if we can find some peyote in the woods outside of Seattle), run away from a shadowy figure with a hook for a hand, soak in the hot tub, get in touch with our feminine sides, bang drums, hunt and shoot things, eat nuts and berries, wash our clothes in the creek, eat beans out of a can, have "Brokeback moments", play truth or dare, and see who can pee the farthest. At least, that's our agenda so far.

posted by David N on Friday, September 22, 2006 -3:03am

We will play an all-ages venue soon. We swear. We're trying. Let go of our leg.

posted by John O on Monday, September 18, 2006 11:57am

On the way to and from Helena last month we (various members of the band plus friends who were trapped in the car with us) recorded some kunjabunjas (improvised and quickly recorded songs) using our magical laptops. I finally got around to uploading them so everyone could listen to them. Check 'em out!

Rocking Back Thunder Mountain
Checkered Flag Merits An Award
Bison Make Small Bicycles
Hasn't Anyone Eaten What
My Prosthetic Vibrates Rapidly
Vertebrate Is Bigger Now

posted by David N on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 12:28am

Doctor! Doctor! I just had a crazy dream!
But I let it go and now it's rampaging
somewhere in lower Manhattan. Oops.
This whale is totally inaccurate and I
want to buy another one. Don't tell me
what I can and can't do because you
already told me and I'm deaf. Sit here
and think about what you've done until
a cloud of blue gas forms over your head
and a series of tiny satellites burst from
the idea that men and women are created
equal but very sexy. Hold this hammer, I
can't think with all this la la la hey hey hey
shake shake it baby, I've got a liver in my
heart and it's kidneys are attacking that
dinosaur. I am not responsible for the
contents of this continent, I just manage
the roadblocks to your heart. Can you
hear the song of the bluebird through
the embers of the tree? Can you see the
passion of a thousand milk trucks
circling the tallest building in town? This
is our time to eat, our time to be eaten,
and we will not stand up or sit down
until the summer breeze floats serenely
into the places of which we dare not speak.

posted by John O on Monday, September 11, 2006 12:29pm

Enjoyed: Doris Day parking.
Forgot: My performer pass (at breakfast, with 30 minutes until load-in).
Remarked: "We did play everything slower, didn't we?"
Loaded: A lot of gear into Rob's van.
Unpacked: A lot of gear into Rob's garage.
Struggled with: Rob's car's manual transmission.
Liked: Of Montreal's introduction.
Loved: Of Montreal's drummer's costume.
Wanted more from: Of Montreal's set.
Chewed: Free gum.
Thanked: Stormy, profusely, for the extra tech time.
Shook head at: Ian, Dustin, Kevin, and David, wondering how we could be so lucky.
Consumed: Ice cream, lemonade, and a corn dog on festival grounds.
Rode: Ferris wheel and bumper cars.
Bummed: Several smokes from un-flattered local theatre critic.
Observed: Amazing posters at Flatstock.
Debated: Puffin vs. Penguin.
Decided: Puffin.
Retreived: My performer pass (with 6 minutes to spare).
Marveled at: Gaffer tape.

posted by Kirk on Tuesday, September 5, 2006 12:56pm

No, really.
I hate when my shit gets stolen. This is, in fact the 2nd bass guitar I've had stolen from a car and/or house. The first one wasn't my fault. This one... well, I didn't have to leave it all in the trunk overnight. Curse the hubris!

I guess this was a sign that my things owned me. I didn't own my things.
Whatever, Buddha Nature.

At least we don't have to play at Bumbershoot in two days- oh, wait...

posted by Basil on Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:06pm

1. Caravans are more fun due to the ability to throw things from one car at another
2. Meth = Death
3. Moms are the best
4. The Mustache Ladies freaked out the Butte-niks
5. Room full of underwear lamps & trashy novels VS. room full of Montana paraphernalia & Montana
6. Kevin waved at every car that passed
7. Field trip to a helicopter guarded by sprinklers is a success
8. Basil VS. Celia in a punching match
9. Don't eat at Fuddrucker's
10. White Mare Productions presents...

DOIN' TIME
(in cartoon log lettering; theme by Chumbawumba)
A wacky sitcom behind bars!

posted by John O on Wednesday, August 23, 2006 2:17pm

blackberry muffins
black Sharpie
video camera tripod
extra sleeping pad
small cardboard cigar case
South Park DVDs
David Russo

posted by Rob on Saturday, August 19, 2006 12:28pm

...and may the best kitten win. May Dog help us.

posted by Basil on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 5:02pm

posted by John O on Friday, August 11, 2006 1:51pm

"Lobsterboy Robot Party" by Whiteface Carhorn
"Shameful Truncheon" by Forcefield Waitress
"Flashlight Meatlocker" by Corporal Stems
"Don't Joke, It's Bleeding" by Stumpdoctor Bookmobile

posted by John O on Friday, August 11, 2006 1:34pm

I want a t-shirt that says this.

posted by Evan on Tuesday, August 8, 2006 -1:39am

"Usage Note: As an adjective the form drunk is used after a verb while the form drunken is now used only in front of a noun: They were drunk last night. A drunken patron at the restaurant ruined our evening. Using drunk in front of a noun is usually considered unacceptable in formal style, but the phrases drunk driver and drunk driving, which have become fixed expressions, present an exception to this."

posted by David N on Monday, August 7, 2006 5:35pm

YAY!
1. playing with the fucking fanstastic Portland Pirate band, Captain Bogg & Salty
2. super cute audience members
3. weird snacks brought by Kirk
4. the whiskey & ginger somone bought me and how drunk it got me. (Okay, I hadn't eaten much yesterday...)
5. the stage dive (into a sumersault) I did at the end of Are You Aware
6. drawing made by me & John A -- Don't ask me why there's a little creature coming out of the leg.

BOO!
1. I couldn't hear my banjo in the monitors (for the 99th time). Did I play any right notes? I guess I'll never know.
2. before the show I had more of those fantastic convulsions / seizures / dry heaves that I've been having every now and then. Oh well.
3. today's hangover (yes, from ONE drink -- the downside of my inexplicably low tolerance.)
4. weird snacks brought by Kirk

posted by David N on Saturday, August 5, 2006 6:28pm

Children Babies
Canvas Manskirt
jayme [ a t ] chromasound.net
Yacht Rock

posted by Kirk on Monday, July 31, 2006 12:05am

After 2 weekends in the studio, I'm confident we have some fantastic results. Credit goes primarily to our phenomenal production team including Hi-May, The Auer of Power and Mr. Poopy Pants, not respectively. But respectfully, to be sure. I for one am itching - lit'rally ITCHING - to hear the finished product.
Until then, however, I'll be doing some snail research, specifically on how they "Get Dead."

posted by Basil on Monday, July 31, 2006 -3:14am

Okay, the cabins 9-12 canoe trip has been canceled due to rain. So, we're going to have a screening of "Goonies" in the Grand Hall at 4pm. Rumor has it there might be popcorn!!

posted by Kirk on Sunday, July 30, 2006 3:54pm

And I was NOT doing somethig boring. I was doing SEVERAL boring things. Including looking at this blog, updating this blog and looking at this blog again a few minutes later.
We just played hackey sack a few minutes ago. That's right, hackey-sack. Kirk is filled with shame about it, but he's all into making friendship bracelets and going canoeing later on.
I used to be quite good at hackey sack, but then that was back before things like a social life or showering started to eat up my valuable time.
Anyway, Kirk's going from bored to randomly destructive at the moment. We should probably break out the hack again.
No wait, it's raining now.

Blast!

posted by Basil on Sunday, July 30, 2006 3:46pm

We've all been banished to the Chroma kitchen while John A. valiantly tracks the piano part for Telephone. There are about 78 mics on the piano, so it seemed that even our innermost secret thoughts were audible in the mix. So here we sit. David is sketching John O, who's asleep in a chair with a William Carlos Williams book on his chest. Kirk is listening to music and checking sports scores. Basil is doing something boring. I'm blogging. Whoa, Ackermann just came in and it seems he's done pianoing! Thank jesus, I need to pee!

posted by Evan on Sunday, July 30, 2006 2:26pm

Some people might think we're just messing around, not getting anything really done here in the recording studio. Basil proves those assholes wrong with this mind-blowing track.

posted by Basil on Sunday, July 30, 2006 12:35am

We're mainly recording vocals today, so other than totally ROCKING the group hand-claps, I've been free to catch up on e-mail, eat a bag o' pretzels and clean up my hard drive. Kirk keeps trying to get me to look up bee facts online - the band wives are arriving soon to record them - but I'm busy with more interesting things. Kirk says he can't do it since he's doing day-job stuff (we're not on his vocals yet). I'm all, "whatever". The band wives are smart, they'll come up with something that'll make us sound ty-EEEEEE-t.

posted by Basil on Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:05pm

"I'm pretty sure this is just what it was like when the Beatles were in the studio. Everyone checking e-mail, George would be IMing John, Paul would be updating the Myspace page. Billy Preston wrote some of the more memorable blog entries..."

posted by Evan on Saturday, July 29, 2006 2:35pm

1. They totally are.
2. Seriously, check it out.
3. I mean, wow.

posted by Evan on Monday, July 24, 2006 1:58pm

1. Chroma
2. Trapped in a Meat Locker
3. The Cold Embrace of Death
4. Pretty Much Anywhere Else

posted by Evan on Monday, July 24, 2006 1:51pm

Band-Named: Calculus.
Achieved: Over 60,000 points in Pitfall.
Heard: "They just don't use old men to advertise video games anymore."
Discovered: Parmesan Cracked Pepper Dip = Crack.
Admitted: I have an unhealthy obsession with dips.
Tried: Pickle in a Bag.
Suffered: Truly unfortunate digestive problems stemming from Pickle in a Bag.
Played: Foodoku (food puzzle brought forth from Dr. Banjo.)
Finished: A book.
Started: Another book.
Consumed: One (small) box of raspberries.
Confessed: I have an unhealthy obsession with raspberries.
Band-Named 2: Temporary Lightning.
Invented: A laptop battle in which you must hit others with laptops.
Enjoyed: Mr. Auer's somewhat-authentic Thurston Howell impression.
Regretted: Stealing a smoke after 14/48 with friends of distinction.
Wondered: Would too much coffee lead to jittery drumming?
Confirmed: Coffee leads to jittery drumming.
Announed: Laundry plans.
Proclaimed: "Turn that frown into a mushroom."
Realized: Should have asked Friday to borrow Lost DURING studio time, not afterwards, as it leads to 4-hour sleep nights.
Realized 2: I have an unhealthy obsession with Lost.
Realized 3: I don't use this blog enough.

posted by Kirk on Monday, July 24, 2006 10:23am

1. Play Playstation
2. Watch others play Playstation
3. Read any number of audio magazines from 1993
4. Rob is the king of percussion
5. Just heard: "I've been thinking about it, and stuff is pretty cool"
6. Things to do: Create Theremin orchestra, feature Jayme
7. Basil is in Seattle Sound magazine!
8. Candlebox...what the hell is up with their website?
9. The bathroom is angry
10. Minicorn: The battle rages on
11. Kevin Martin has a band
12. Sean says getting slapped around is not all that weird
13. Burgers are good for singing
14. Female presence makes good vibe
15. Candlebox, Candlebox, Candlebox
16. Eddie Vedder doll will make millions
17. Laptop convention
18. Reggie leaves no messages
19. Everyone goes swimming at Madison Park
20. Candlebox

posted by John O on Sunday, July 23, 2006 8:08pm

I don't know about YOU, o tens of readers, but Rob and I just finished laying down some sweet ass horn lines for "Telephone". I managed to get one good take before my lips decided they'd rather be wrapped around a burger than my trumpet. Rob offered to give me a lip massage, but I declined, fearing the worst. Anyway, after giving it a listen, our Producers (Messers Auer and Nelson, Ltd.) deemed it "fresh" and possessed of an "awesome quality." Now we're trying to get the perfect triangle sound using $12,000 microphones, and it seems we've got yet another working title for the EP: Lo-Fi Triangle! Stay tuned for more awesome tales of sound creation from Chroma Studios... or we'll kill you! Just kidding. Goodbye.

posted by Evan on Sunday, July 23, 2006 6:44pm

David made an allusion to my hand in the last entry, so I'd better explain. I'm currently typing this with six fingers- 5 on the right and 1 on the left. About a week ago, the bottom knuckle joint in my left hand started aching. Didn't think too much about it, but it started hurting more and more. By Tuesday it was excruciatingly painful, so I went to a doctor to get it checked out. They were stumped (ha ha). They wrapped up my hand, gave me painkillers and *antibiotics*. Yup. Seems that I have some sort of weird internal infection in my hand- no fracture At least that's the theory at the hand clinic. We'll see what the MRI says. It *is* getting better, but makes this weekend very tricky for recording. yay for unexplained ailments!

posted by John A on Saturday, July 22, 2006 5:08pm

Here we are at the recording studio. They've got chips, peanuts, homemade blueberry pie, video games, wi-fi, and most importantly, air conditioning. There's velvet curtains in various colors. Old couches. Afgan rugs hanging on the walls. Kirk found an old sparkly green 60's drum set he's gonna play. I brought a book I was reading (which I already finished). I brought Plato's Theatetus as a spare book. That might just bore the fuck out of me. I haven't read it in 10 years I think. I need to find a good book to read. I also brought some banjo scores from some songs I want to learn. It's not quite the right environment for it though. Right now they're working on getting the perfect sounds out of the drums. Evan went home to get some pants (the air conditioning is too cold for shorts). Kirk and Basil are outside talking about podcasts with Sean Nelson. (Speaking of which.) The Johns went to go pick up a keyboard. John A's hand is doing a little bit better today. Rob hasn't shown up yet. I think maybe he had a Toucans gig.
Oh, the Johns just got back. They brought food -- donut holes, and a root beer for me. This one is Stewarts. I've been trying various root beers out, trying to figure out which brand is best. So far I like Sprechers best -- it's some Wisconsin brand that John A used to have all the time back home.

posted by David N on Saturday, July 22, 2006 1:36pm

Today I was at Dusty Strings getting some adjustments done to my new Deering Hartford Banjo. And just when I was complaining about the placement of my railroad spikes, who should appear in the store but BELA FLECK himself, one of the most amazing and talented banjo players alive today. Like a total dork, I went up and said hi. He was there getting some work done to his banjo for his show tonight at the Moore. I told him I was getting some work done on my new Hartford and he said something like, "Oh you've got a Hartford? Do they have one here?"
Me: "No, I got the only one."
Bela:"Oh, I was just at Deering and I wanted to play one but they didn't have one there."
Me: "Oh, if you want, you can play mine."
Bela:"Yeah? Sure."
So I got my banjo out and he noodled around on it. I know, I'm a dork. But dude, it was so cool.

posted by David N on Thursday, June 29, 2006 -2:21am

Hey John, it's good to hear from you. Do you hang around here much?


-Rob

posted by Rob on Monday, June 26, 2006 -2:54am

Hi, I'm John Osebold.. are you busy?

sUBMIT

posted by John O on Monday, June 26, 2006 -2:49am

My spac, my space, blah blah blah thtats ALL I EVER HEAR ABPOUT!

posted by John O on Monday, June 26, 2006 -2:48am

blah blah io'm rob honk honk honk duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

posted by Rob on Monday, June 26, 2006 -2:44am

I stumbled across a little notebook in which I used to write strange phrases (some of which I heard others say, others of which I clearly made up myself). I don't know what I was saving them for. I think this particular notebook dates from about 1992. (The notebook also contains a list of Jeff Goldblum movies and the address of a fire station.) Here's a sampling:

dirt rubbed into raw meat
throwing my weight around my belt
mark the nibs
I make the injury victim face
going into puberty and really into it
10 twin money bags
You're dang dumb
nefarious ropes
I must seem like a real nose bleed
let the guests vote
telling it on the mountain
Don't sweet-talk me. I don't sweet-talk.
The men are always after my wife.
success after elaborate maneuvers
irresistably unscrupulous combat
recovery from sickness, but sometimes sudden death
resort to magic
a graceful dilettante with a violent craft
mirth in forbidden pleasures
pregnant with slothful wonder
smoke the pole
the trenches above us
hunting the big game
my meager mouth
time to pay the fiddler
it was just tom-foolery
the guy would "nam"-out
licky boom boom down
she was seated in traditional posture
falling from the wheel
Think about high elbows
weenie boy
the jack rabbit doing the dirty jerk
from bitter to swallow
dog and pony show
snack foods
the best kind of lazy bitch
hell bent for leather

posted by David N on Sunday, June 25, 2006 10:05am

On Saturday, June 17th at 3:30-ish in the afternoon, I became a married man. Our manager said it was a bad move for the band's "image", but then I remembered that our manager was David Gest and what does he know about image anyway. Perhaps the Image Awards, but that's about it.

Anyway, this now brings the number of married Awesome band members up to a whopping TWO. That's right, David Nixon is married to his career as a Civil War Re-enactment Authenticity Provost.

I'm talking, of course, about the Spanish Civil War of 1622.

posted by Basil on Monday, June 19, 2006 2:31am

"Awesome" would like make sure that we all remember the Battle of Stoke Field, that great battle that took place on this very day, June 16, 1487, and which was essentially the end of the War of the Roses.

posted by David N on Friday, June 16, 2006 12:10pm

...was the theme of this wacked out show. See here the hippies and hipsters that mobbed the stage during American Boyfriend:
Although the monitors sucked, the show was quite fun. If I hadn't been recovering from some kind of contagious (I know because I gave it to my roomie) intestinal food-bourne illness, I'd now be recovering from a taquilla-bourne hangover. Kind of like the the guy on the left in this picture:

The next day I hung out with some philosophers who were at the show. One of them mentioned an upcoming talk about intellectual property. To which I said, "BORING!". My friend replied, "You won't find it so boring when the Chinese steal all your songs and you suddenly hear Chinese Boyfriend on the radio..."

posted by David N on Tuesday, May 30, 2006 5:55pm

A Short Play


[Scene: Hawaii, 1995. A SPONGECAKE sits alone in the middle of an empty warehouse. It is warm.]

SPONGECAKE: Sigh.

[Time passes. TIM passes.]

TIM: Hello.

[More time passes. It begins to rain in Japan.]

SPONGECAKE: Sigh.

SIGH: Sigh.

[In thirty years, TIM returns.]

TIM: Hello.

[The warehouse turns into a spaceship and slips into a black hole, arriving in a parallel universe. It looks like Hawaii in 1995.]

SPONGECAKE: Sigh.

-fin-

posted by John O on Wednesday, May 17, 2006 3:44pm

The following is an excerpt of a review of noSIGNAL by Aidan:

"Everyone will enjoy noSIGNAL, but not everyone who enjoyed noSIGNAL is a 14 year old adolesent boy. Therefore I think my review has something more to offer.

I wake up in the night scared out of my mind. I have just had a dream about "Awesome." ...It was much like that scene in Akira Kurosawa's "Dreams" when the little boy walks into the cherry tree orchard. This wasn't a cherry tree orchard though. It was just a bunch of trees with beautiful, beautiful bee hives. Weird folk were dancing round the trees throwing hot coals at the hives. Stop I yelled and they stopped. I ran up to the trees and rescued one of the hives. I cracked one open and inside were 7 bees all with "Awesome's" heads superimposed on the bee's bodies. I love awesome. I know this had barely anything to do with noSIGNAL except for the bees but neither did the Stanger's Review and everybody likes those guys. "

posted by David N on Tuesday, May 9, 2006 3:33pm

Hey thanks to everyone who came out to our super secret show. I think it was a real sucess. I still can't believe the backwards flip on stage! It's a good thing most of us have health insurance. (Now we just need fire insurance.) See you all at the opening of noSIGNAL!

posted by David N on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 1:34pm

There's a fantastic act of music taking place this weekend: 2 Foot Yard, a trio of amazing Bay Area musicians brought together by violinist Carla Kihlstedt, are playing for one night (April 21) at On the Boards. Do catch this wave.

posted by John O on Monday, April 17, 2006 4:25pm

Worker bees (female) have a lifespan of 6 weeks. They usually work themselves to death. Drones (male) mate with a virgin queen bee and then die when their reproductive organs break off inside her. The bees keep the queen warm in winter by eating lots of honey and pollen, surrounding her inside the hive, then balling up and contracting their muscles to create heat. Over the harsh winter, the outer layer of bees die off and fall away. The clump of huddled bees grows smaller until spring comes, at which time the remaining bees dump the dead ones outside the hive. Bees also die from stinging (their stingers are essentially connected to their guts, which are removed when they sting) and from varroa mites (20-30 mites attach themselves to the bees and sap the life from them virus-style).

posted by John O on Thursday, April 6, 2006 2:32pm

What a fantastic week it's been in Amsterdam. The whole band is now going to move there, ASAP. Because I say so. And because they have gorgeous canals, legalized drugs, frank and open minded Dutch people, a bunch of cool looking old buildings and a billion things going on. I have to say Amsterdam makes Seattle (which I love) look like the Northgate Mall.

On the downside, the restaurant service is terrible. I think the idea is, when you go to a restaurant, you don't actually go there to eat. You go there to read the paper for a half hour before being asked if you'd like some coffee, which will give you another half hour before they come back to ask you want you want to eat, which will give you an hour to think about what you read in the paper before you actually get your food.

Americans rule! with pre-emptive force!

posted by David N on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 5:11pm

See R. Kelly's hip-hopera Trapped in the Closet.

Notable lyrics from chapter 5 alone:

"Then a tear fell up out my eye"
"Then she cries out, 'Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax' / And I said 'Cool, climax, just let go of my leg'"
"The I flip back the cover / Oh my god, a rubber (rubber...rubber...rubber...)"

posted by John O on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 4:05pm

...we'd have talking walls. Cool!

posted by Kirk on Wednesday, March 15, 2006 5:25pm

Lessons learned:
=>"Awesome" requires a soundcheck.
=>A good audience is a good audience is a good audience. Love the audience!
=>Always remember to reclaim your merch at the end of the night.
=>"Awesome" absolutely requires a soundcheck.
=>Apple slices and Fruit Loops are surprisingly decent post-show party fuel (thanks, Gillian!)
=>But perhaps most importantly: "Awesome" simply does not perform without a soundcheck. Farewell, second-band slots!

posted by Evan on Monday, March 6, 2006 12:52pm

...said John Ackermann to the photographer named Bootsy. That was Friday night in Fremont. This is Saturday night on the Hill. Or rather Sunday morning. I'm so tired after that Chop Suey show that all I can do is blog.

Auto-Lite spark plugs: WOW!

posted by David N on Sunday, March 5, 2006 4:55am

I heard an explosion this morning at about 2:25AM! It woke me out of a dead sleep and rattled my windows and bed. My first thought was, predictably, that Rainier had finally erupted; the explosion sounded so huge and so far away... Afterwards all was calm except for one lonely siren ten minutes later. I have been looking for news of an explosion this morning but can't find any... I started to think maybe I dreamed it, but a co-worker just told me that a big "boom" woke her and all her roommates this morning at about 2:30. I didn't hallucinate! Well, I didn't hallucinate the explosion... the winged possums making leathery sounds on the ceiling and snickering at me might not have been real.

posted by Evan on Friday, February 24, 2006 10:19am

&navThere are always amazing productions going on in Seattle. Here are three shows coming up that you should be aware of...

THE INVISIBLE
The new show by choreographer/dancer/visionary/huh Jessica Jobaris runs March 3, 4, 10, & 11

COMPUTER
The new show by Matt Fontaine (director of Delaware), Tamara Paris, and High Kindergarden Performance Group runs March 8-12

CUCKOO CROW
The new show by Degenerate Art Ensemble runs March 11

posted by John O on Thursday, February 23, 2006 4:54pm

Yup, that's what I said.

posted by John A on Thursday, February 23, 2006 3:35pm

Grab some pie and read a little review of symphony. Here's another one. For another view, read this one (the best part: they didn't realize that putting the title betwee

posted by John O on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 1:18pm

Boy howdy did you ask for it Mr. B! I've already blogged fourteen words (not including the header or parenthetical remarks) and more are on the way! I can and will be your internet dominatrix. This isn't over!

posted by David N on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 1:41am

Is anyone else tired of hearing David's opinoins on this thing? Well, Mr. N., I've got a few things to say about your veritable domination of the "Awesome" Superhighway:

1) I resist.
2) You are not, as you insist, the boss of me or, as my lawyers have advised me to say, my lawyers.
3) You have a stinky butt.

Power to the peepool! The resolution willl not be telebied! My any means neck-a-scary!

Also, my sister likes you.

Sucker!

posted by Basil on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 6:29pm

Okay, so that was a great opening weekend of John Osebold's "symphony". It kind of makes me want to hang out in that church all the time. I wish I got to play the pipe organ though. Or maybe I wish there were some kind of giant pipe-banjo I could play.

On a totally unconnected subject. I've been reading Freakonomics. Really interesting stuff!

posted by David N on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 12:10pm

&year On Friday I (and one of the Johns from this band) saw John Kaufmann's D.O.B. Excellent stuff. I really liked it. Almost all the dialog is taken verbatim from cassette tapes -- mostly from when John was recording the birth of his nephew Niko, and a lot of the waiting around that takes place before a birth. Go see it.

Tonight I (and a different John from this band) went and saw Macha Monkey's Cowgirl Play. Also worth seeing. Especially good were Rick Miller's songs. I liked the one about open sores.

posted by David N on Sunday, February 12, 2006 2:25am

I've watched this several times. I don't know why, but it makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl.
A little, paranoid, homicidal, hatchet-swinging, Big Wheel-riding schoolgirl.

posted by Basil on Sunday, February 12, 2006 12:25am

Sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku sudoku.

Sudoku.

posted by Basil on Sunday, February 12, 2006 12:17am

Today I'm bored. Here's me being bored in my room:

posted by David N on Feb 10, 2006

Just to let you all know, I am quitting the band so I can devote more time to playing Boggle online. Yes, this is a cry for help.

posted by John A on Feb 7, 2006

Today I was messing around on my banjo. Two unplanned improvisations (one for the left ear and one for the right) cut together with beats from Garage Band. CHECK IT OUT.

posted by David N on Feb 2, 2006

Oh no! I spilled meat sauce in my keyboard.

posted by John O on Jan 26, 2006

We're three months ahead of the Stranger blog (which is probably totally unblogworthy, but it's been ten days since anyone's said anything). Down there on October 27 I posted a picture that bears strong resemblance to this, which was posted to SLOG today:

(Note the [unnecessary, if you ask me, which you should] addition of our "zeitgeisty" band appellation.)

posted by Evan on Jan 25, 2006

Portland, ho! To play with the Pirates we go. Or went.
The trip down was trecherous with a bit of Cannonball Run-ness to it, though I don't think Dom DeLouise would have fit in the trunk with all our gear. Would've been funny, though. Boy howdy. As it was, we had a hard enough time navigating the traffic in the middle of a FRIGGING MONSOON. Seriously, will someone jiggle the handle on this weather? I'm kinda done with this whole non-stop rain. Yes, I know it's the Pacific Northwest, but please. I can't afford to build an ark in this economy.
Dante's is a fantastic club and Stevie was a fantastic sound/light tech. We played a fun, quick set (too quick, I wanted to play all night after a few burbons) and the crowd was outstanding.
Many many thanks to our pals in-town and on the road for the support. Next time I won't forget my suit at home and I'll try to remember ALL of the notes to ALL of the songs.

posted by Basil on Jan 15, 2006

Today our HUGE "January 06 West Coast Tour" starts! The tour includes such amazing cities as Portland, and... um... okay, just Portland. We'll be back tomorrow night. I might take my motorcycle.

posted by David N on Jan 13, 2006

So, yeah, 2006. Wow. It still has that "New Year" scent. Last night I listened to the Byrds as though for the first time. Today I sent a dozen roses to Chicago. Tomorrow I'll be captured in DV format at an undisclosed public location for an undisclosed purpose. A week from today we head to Portland for our first big out of town show. Then I'm going to a fantastic place inappropriately named The Clam Castle, near Ocean Shores, where I will forget all about everything while staring at some water versus water.

Oh, and if you ever want to hear a song of ours in its entirety, you know, on the RADIO, you should totally let KEXP know. They have mad copies of that shit.

posted by Evan on Jan 6, 2006

Two crazy sold out shows in a row. First at Chop Suey with Harvey Danger and a ba-zillion other rock stars and entertainers. (Much love to Sean Nelson for putting together that wacky show.) Then New Year's Eve at CHAC with Miss Maime Lavonna the Exotic Mulatta and her White Boy Band. I used my atomic clock to carry us all into the new year. I drank Jameson's & Red Bull. We played about 70% of our songs. I think my favorite moment was Tracy Repep coming on stage with us and just blowing the fucking doors off the place with American Boyfriend. That song has never rocked so hard as it did that night! (My least favorite part: the monitors didn't work at all and a couple of mics went belly up during the show. We tried to share mics and I subsequently caught Evan's cold.)

posted by David N on Jan 2, 2006

My heart cries for you, London
My time with you's been short
I'll rock you 'til the bobbies
Have to drag me off to court

I'll see you soon, Kyoto
Though my Nihon'go skills are low
I want to play your sake bars
Until I'm asked to go

It won't be long, dear Zurich
Where the festivals abound
I'll squeeze you with melodic strength
'Til you're nowhere to be found

New York, New York, get ready
To feel the tonal love
And if you find I'm smoth'ring you
Just give a little shove

Los Angeles, you tease
I'll be there'n the blink of'n eye
And though I couldn't live there
I'll play you 'til we're high

So, Portland, be prepared
For love and rock and love
And do not doubt I'll be there soon
To fit you like a glove

posted by John O on Dec 28, 2005

According to a medical abbreviation dictionary,
A.W.E.S.O.M.E. = Angina With Extremely Serious Operative Mortality Evaluation
(courtesy of Antoinette the Pathology Tech)

posted by John O on Dec 14, 2005

I'm a little paranoid about all the weird looks I've been getting from my co-workers. Not that my co-workers make me paranoid by themseves. Nor does getting weird looks in general. It's just the "getting weird looks from co-workers" as a combined set of circumstances that kind makes me feel a little.. I don't know... paranoid. Did I already say I was paranoid? I did, didn't I.
See? That's how paranoid I get when my co-workers pay attention to me. Well, not even me personally, just whomever I'm with, if it's like, say, a group or a band - I BREAK OUT IN A RASH. I start saying things I've already said. I start repeating things. I start to repeat what I've already said. Over and over. Again and again.

My co-workers are making me really paranoid. When they give me weird looks, I mean. And talking about it makes me even more awkward and, I don't know... paranoid, I guess. I have a hard time concentrating. I make careless mistakes - sometimes I don't spell words correctly. I have nothing against my co-workers; indeed, I hold them all in great esteem. I just wish they'd stop giving me weird looks. But I hope they buy our album still. And enjoy the music of course. It's this paranoia that really gets to me, though, I'll tell you.

posted by Kirk on Dec 14, 2005

I'm a little nervous about all the attention we've been getting from the UK. Not that the UK makes me nervous by itself. Nor does getting attention in general. It's just the "getting attention from the UK" as a combined set of circumstances that kind makes me feel a little.. I don't know... nervous. Did I already say I was nervous? I did, didn't I.
See? That's how nervous I get when the UK pays attention to me. Well, not even me personally, just whomever I'm with, if it's like, say, a group or a band - I get FREAKED OUT. I start saying things I've already said. I start repeating things. I start to repeat what I've already said. Over and over. Again and again.
The UK makes me really nervous. When they pay attention to me, I mean. And talking about it makes me even more self conscious and, I don't know... nervous, I guess. I have a hard time concentrating. I make careless mistakes - sometimes I don't spell words correctly. I have nothing against the UK; indeed, I hold them all in great esteem. I just wish they'd stop paying attention to me. But I hope they buy our album still. And enjoy the music of course. It's this nervousness that really gets to me, though, I'll tell you.

posted by Basil on Dec 12, 2005

posted by Evan on Dec 2, 2005

Can you guys believe that the Canadian government fell? Poor Mr. Martin. I guess that "sponsor" scandal really hurt the Liberals. What I don't understand is why the Bloc Quebecois are helping the Conservative party. It's only going to come back to bite them later.

posted by David N on Nov 29, 2005

We've returned from the mountain and with us we bring victory. The head of the beast. The Golden Fleece. The Checkered Flag. The Raspberry Beret. The Final Countdown.

I think that I will never forget the Mannergy. Nor will I get the smell out of my clothes.

posted by Basil on Nov 21, 2005

Tonight the members of "Awesome" make their pilgrimage to a deserted old cabin way out in the wilderness somewhere. There we will sequester ourselves without food or water for 3 days while we finalize our plans for World Domination?.

It should be a real hoot! I gotta remember to bring my hair gel. And some animal cookies. The website may get horribly stagnant over the weekend with no one to work on it. Sorry about that.

If I never return, don't let Kristen steal my CDs. I have a last will and testament that should explain everything. There has to be a sad clown at my funeral. And bagpipes. And the mime from The Aristocrats. It's all in the will.

Okay. Goodbye everyone! See you on Monday!

posted by David N on Nov 18, 2005

STOP SQUAWLKING, YOU BIRDS!
a short essay

Those ******* birds outside my window don't know when to ******** quit. They think if they just raise more ruckus, they'll make me vacate my apartment. Well **** you, you ******** mutant rats, I'll ******** catch you and cook you into a ******** pie! ****!

posted by John O on Nov 17, 2005

Getting ready for my next gig tomorrow- The Teacher Talent Showcase at Sweet Pea Cottage Preschool, where I teach music. I'll be playing such hits as "Singin' in the Bathtub", "Baby Beluga", and "This Old Man". $20 gets you in, gets you a full 45 minutes of entertainment (parents *and* kids welcome), and as many juice boxes as you can stomach. (Not sure about the juice boxes, actually.) We've had some lovely guest performances here in the past from Rob and John O. The kids were enthralled by the sound of the theremin. Well, that or his long luxurious black hair.

posted by John A on Nov 17, 2005

Sometimes my tummy makes farty sounds.

posted by Evan on Nov 15, 2005

So I was reading this paper where this Brandom guy claims that explanation is an essentially discursive practice ? the practice of rendering something intelligible. And of course, those under the sway of enlightenment science held to a model in which an event is rendered intelligible when it is shown to be necessary. We understand why an event happens when we see why is had to happen. Of course, these kind of explanations still required foundational unexplained explainers ? ultimate (typically mathematical) laws articulating the basic order of the universe from which it could be deduced that such and such had to happen. The 19th century innovation was to let statistical probabilities supplant mathematical certainties. An event could be rendered intelligible simply by showing how such and such conditions made it likely (even if not absolutely necessary) that it would occur. We might wonder how this notion of statistical explanation is tied to the early pragmatist?s holistic and non-reductive empiricist epistemological projects. Perhaps simply because the statistical model seems to undermine the reductionist project of deducing one?s phenomenal world from a fixed set of given sensory atoms. On the other hand, why couldn?t the reduction be fallible and statistical but still rely on a sensory foundation?

posted by David N on Nov 7, 2005

Future Wife 2006 thinks that Star Wars picture below is the best thing she's ever seen. And she's seen a lot.

Personally, I think it's a little far-fetched. I mean, would Vader really settle for being the BASS PLAYER??
Come on you guys, get real.

posted by Basil on Nov 2, 2005

It's a CD, baby!

posted by Evan on Nov 1, 2005

amazon.com had this to say about our new CD:

Customers interested in "Awesome" may also be interested in

Sleds
Classic Sled, $199.95 Fast, Free Shipping!

posted by David N on Oct 31, 2005

posted by Evan on Oct 27, 2005

Doc, you've got some competition for the best song about a dragon coming.

posted by John A on Oct 24, 2005

Just received this e-mail from Brendan Kiley, who works at The Stranger:
"i want a nickel! gimmie a nickel! preferrably with a little gnome blood on it!"
I guess we should have known this was coming. After all, The Stranger called us an organization to watch.
This should give you an idea why.

posted by David N on Oct 20, 2005

The day after our one one-show weekend. Sunday morning. eggs and bacon. KEXP. Nothing better on a Sunday morning than classic soul and blues.

After the show last night, we went to catch some of the Stranger Genius Awards at SAM. After about 30 minutes of feeling socially awkward, I headed to the Harvey Danger CD release at the Croc (with David and Kristen, whose social awkwardness I can't speak for). Earlier that night, Mr. Sean Nelson (of said Harvey Danger) had dropped by Re-bar with a lovely note and a bottle of champagne for us. Damn, that boy can sing. The place was packed, and I thought it was a great show.

I did, however, get to experience one person whose satisfaction with the show seemed, shall we say, compromised. I was standing outside the Croc with friends Mark and Joanna when the door burst open and out bounded a well-dressed woman in mid-sentence with her erstwhile date. "This band fucking sucks my ass" was the phrase that rang through the air as she hurried down 2nd Ave, her poor date trailing behind her. I have a feeling that there were other issues at play, and the band just got caught in the crossfire. Sometimes you just have to take one for the team.

posted by John A on Oct 16, 2005

Sub-geniuses to watch.

posted by Evan on Oct 13, 2005

Wow John, That was really touching.

Okay, so maybe you shouldn't blog anymore.

PS Your short play is amazing.

posted by Basil on Oct 12, 2005

Okay, I've been told to "blog" something by our webmonkey (David), in the hopes that people will find our website (and us) interesting. Although I don't rightly know why. I'm really not a very interesting person, and even less of an interesting writer. But here goes.

I like cats.

How was that?




Okay, seriously. Not sure what I'm going to do with myself this Thursday and Friday. It's weird how your (okay MY) life goes into this sort of negative time space when something that's been planned for so long simply goes away. Like calling in sick to work when you're not actually sick. (Which I've NEVER done, mind you) Suddenly there's this chunk of time that doesn't have anything attached to it. Which is not to say that I don't have time when nothing is scheduled, but usually during those times, I have a lot of guilt about what I *should* be doing- cleaning, planning a retirement account, writing more, etc. So in a way, it's nice to have some unscheduled time where there are no self-imposed expectations.

Of course, I'd much rather be doing Delaware.

posted by John A on Oct 12, 2005

THE INCIDENTAL PREFECT
a short play


[Scene: 1930's Britain. WAYWARD GIRL sits on park bench. OFFICER CRAWLEY enters.]

CRAWLEY: 'Scuse me, miss.

GIRL: Yes?

CRAWLEY: What's all this, then?

[A blimp plummets into the House of Parliament, exploding with a light *pop*. Purple bear marshmallows shower down from its remains.]

GIRL: Umm...

[PREFECT enters wearing a turtle.]

PREFECT: Right! You there!

BENCH: Me?

PREFECT: No, I...the...goodbye.

[PREFECT exits. A massive curtain falls on CRAWLEY.]

GIRL: I can't read.

[]

-fin-

posted by John O on Oct 12, 2005

Care of the Toucans' website, check out this awesome recipe for Corn Dog Casserole.

posted by Evan on Oct 12, 2005

Hey, everybody: The Weekly picked us!

Seattle Weekly article

"Don't bother asking what it's supposed to be about?just let it make you feel good. "

posted by Evan on Oct 12, 2005

blog
blog blog D blog blog
blog blog blog A blog blog
blog blog blog blog V blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog I blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog blog D blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog ...
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog
blog blog blog blog
blog

posted by David N on Oct 12, 2005

To the fans of internet-based art, may I suggest a visit to superbad.com ? They are among my favorite, and it looks like they've added some new "content" recently. Many beautiful minutes of pointing and clicking and staring.

Also, blog. BLOHHHHHHG!

posted by Evan on Oct 11, 2005

I bruised myself in the leg by Kirk's high hat. That's the last time I take my pants off for him.
Aw, who am I kidding...

posted by Basil on Oct 10, 2005

Okay, so we had a fantastic opening weekend of Delaware. And a CD release party on Friday... Shots of cheap tequilia were consumed. Legs became rubber. banjo only barely survived. crowds cheered. Pants came off.

And now this new website is up and running, and that's cool.

Hm. Yeah, so that was the weekend.

posted by David N on Oct 10, 2005